Chapter 3
Gabriel took a moment to retreat. Everywhere he went, they followed. Sure it was his job, more than a job, his reason for being. But exposure to thousands of years of evil had taken a toll on him. He lived among them, within them and experienced the sin first hand.
Free will. It was the basic ground rule he had to fight. Sinking into a corner seat, he pressed his face into his hands, trying to clear his mind. The sounds of troubled souls reached out to him even in the relative emptiness of the brick building. He ignored the looks from the other occupants of the café. The cops in the corner table gave him a scrutinizing once over before returning to their coffee.
It was just as well he looked and smelled as he did. He got the space he craved, he needed. The people here were just as sinful, the touches unavoidable. The smell of evil and hatred enveloped him. He needed time to regroup and recharge but the world wouldn’t stop if he did.
He looked past the happy tourists in the café to the dark haired man cheating on his wife, the black teen lost in his music, a woman late for a rendezvous with a wine bottle and the small Asian woman who hated them all. Looking into the café window, he met his own eyes in the glass and was taken aback at the emptiness inside.
A voice caught his attention, the dark-haired businessman was talking on the phone. “Yes, Sylvia, I am on the way home. I know its Saturday morning but I told you I had to work all night. I’ll be home by lunch.” He muttered woodenly. “I love you, too.”
Gabriel sighed. The draw of unanswered need pulled him from his chair and he followed the man out of the café. The man walked briskly down the street and stepped onto a commuter bus. Gabriel shadowed him. One touch, and I will know.
Gabriel stepped onto the bus, the stale warm air tightening his chest. The bus eased back onto the road leaving the stink of diesel engine hard at work. Fighting the rocking motion of the bus, Gabriel held onto seatbacks on the half empty bus. “Excuse me,” Gabriel muttered, stumbling into to the man, grasping his suit clad shoulder. Tired grey eyes looked back and Gabriel saw his answer. Help.
In an instant, everything shifted inside. The thin young man with the pink hair passed by and shuffled toward the back of the bus, his smell parting the way. The bus lurched to a halt at the King street station and he exited through the rear door. Gabriel straightened the wrinkles from his suit and lifted the briefcase in his hand.
Gabriel made his way through the newly renovated station to the Sounder commuter train that would take him north out of the city. After climbing the steps to the upper leves of the trainl, Gabriel found a seat in the back. He sat down and placed the unfamiliar briefcase down on the adjoining seat. A headache nagged him and he closed his eyes. David Ingram, attorney. Wife, son, and girlfriend. Bits and pieces of information surfaced in his memory, David’s memory, but Gabriel pushed them away and left his mind blank to stare out the window. Rest, he just needed to rest.
Gabriel closed his eyes and let the words wash through him. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Spirit of God. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. Helper. He leadeth me beside the still waters. Spirit of Truth. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Comforter. God help me, Gabriel prayed, my burden is heavy and I long for rest. Peace evaded him.
The train exited the station and entered the bright sunshine. The graffiti of the city gradually transformed into increasingly upscale neighborhoods laced together with patches of green lawn. Gabriel got off the train in Edmunds and easily found his silver Lexus waiting in the parking lot. It was 11 o'clock in the morning and the world was strangely quiet.
Driving home, he allowed David’s memories to wash through him. A giggling blonde lay naked except for the cuffs restraining her to the bed. So this is where David hid from his wife last night. Gabriel pulled over and tamped down the disgust that overwhelmed him. He stabbed the button and the window slid down silently. Leaning out the window, he gulped in the fresh air, fighting the nausea. Gabriel opened his cell phone, scrolled through his contacts. Lindsey. Delete.
The crisp fall air cleared his head and resolutely, he pulled back out on the quiet street. He fiddled with the radio and turned up the harsh rock music, drowning out any thoughts. The neighborhood became further upscale with immaculate houses with clipped lawns and views of the Puget Sound.
He pulled into the driveway of the stone and cedar sided home and pressed the button for the garage door opener. The doors opened quietly as if not daring to disturb the neighborhood. As he parked, a woman with straight brown hair entered the garage, wearing slacks and a sweater embroidered with pumpkins and falling leaves. A memory pricked him, Sylvia.
“David, you’re home.” She spoke hesitantly. “We were just leaving for Jimmy’s game. I left some lunch for you in the fridge if you are hungry.”
“Daddy!” a little boy with hair to match his own came out, dressed in a red soccer uniform emblazoned with “saints” across the chest.
“Hi son,” Gabriel squatted down and hugged the little boy. “I’ll come with you.”
“Are you sure?” asked Sylvia. “You said you had a lot of work to do.”
“No, this is important. I want to see Jimmy play.”
“Cool!” said Jimmy as he grabbed Gabriel’s hand. Gabriel squeezed back gently.
The quick car ride to the carefully maintained soccer fields was filled with Jimmy’s chattering, of school and soccer and would Daddy take him to the movies this weekend?
Gabriel and Sylvia stood on the sidelines watching Jimmy play soccer. Gabriel reached over and took Sylvia’s hand and held it gently. She looked at him, searching. He rubbed his thumb on her palm, reassuring her.
Something is off, Gabriel sensed. But what?
The cold chill of the autumn wind matched the sense of dread Gabriel felt. He watched Jimmy play, still holding Sylvia’s hand. What was he missing? He searched David’s soul, and memories bubbled up, burning into him. A wave of despair and self-loathing nearly dropped him to his knees. Flashes of images spilled into his head at a record rate and he struggled to put the pieces together.
A cheer from Sylvia distracted him. Another player passed the ball to Jimmy, who kicked it just outside the goal. A collective groan went around the sidelines as the ref blew the whistle and ended the game. Jimmy hung his head and wiped his eyes. The coach patted him on the back.
“Usually he does much better,” Sylvia assured him, nervously.
Gabriel frowned. “He’ll be okay, it is just a game.”
He stepped forward to talk with Jimmy but the boy sidled around him and clung to his mother. “I tried Daddy, I really tried,” he sobbed, fidgeting with a small hole in his soccer shirt jersey.
“Let’s go Jimmy. Stop crying,” Sylvia pleaded quietly. “Don’t embarrass your father.”.
Gabriel froze and watched the two hurry off to the car. This was not just a man cheating on his wife. Damn, this was ugly.
The ride home was silent.
“Jimmy, go change your clothes and I’ll bring you up a snack, okay?” said Sylvia gently.
Sylvia went into the kitchen, its picture perfect arrangement belying the discord. The shiny stove had a gas grill in the center and two burners on each side. The warm cherry cabinets contrasted perfectly with the slate floors. “Can I get you a snack, David?” she chattered nervously. “I have some pastrami,” she said looking into the stainless steel fridge. She brought out the milk and sandwich fixings and placed them on the black granite countertops.
She jumped when Gabriel put his hands on her shoulders. Fear, he could smell it. “I don’t want anything to eat.” He turned her around and gently hugged her. Her trembling hands pressed against his chest.
Gabriel put his fingers under her chin and gently raised it. “Look at me,” he commanded softly.
Her tear filled eyes met his for only a moment but it was enough. He had seen that look before. He pressed her head into his chest. “I am sorry,” he whispered into her hair.
They stood quietly for several moments, he could sense her forcing a relaxation she did not feel, while he gently rubbed her back.
He released her, she had felt too good in his arms. “I will take Jimmy his sandwich. I need to talk with him.” A look of panic entered her face. He placed his hand on her arm, “Relax, I am not going to yell at him.” Sylvia nodded uncertainly and quickly assembled the snack.
Gabriel took the plate and milk up the stairs. The sounds of gentle sobs wrenched his heart. He quietly opened Jimmy’s door and caught a glance of the criss-cross belt marks that marred the little boy’s back. Hurriedly donning the oversized sweatshirt, Jimmy whirled around.
Waves of memories washed over him. Toys left out, taking off his belt. Yelling, crying. Gabriel dropped the sandwich and the milk on the oak desk and barely made it down the hall to the bathroom in time. Dropping to his knees, he vomited.
“Good thing you keep switching bodies or else you would be skin and bones by now.”
Gabriel looked up. The bearded man perched on the edge of the bathtub wearing faded khaki Bermuda shorts and a green t-shirt that said “Give peas a chance.”
“I know I have seen it all but stuff like this is getting harder and harder to deal with,” Gabriel muttered as he stood up. The cheery bathroom mocked him with the birdhouse wall paper border and matching yellow towels.
“Gabe, you do good work.”
He flushed away the evidence of his guilt. “Jesus, you know well enough that what I do is not enough these days. It sucks that we expend so much effort in caring and tending to this world, only to find that they, really, do not give a damn.”
“You know better than that.”
“Do I?” Gabriel splashed cold water from the faucet onto his face. He searched through the medicine cabinet and found some mouthwash, rinsed and spat it out into the sink. “You how this works. He wants to change, but there is going to be a lot more bruises before he is finally healed.”
“Nothing is going to change without your work.”
A soft rap sounded on the door. “Honey, are you okay?” Sylvia asked timidly.
“I’m fine,” Gabriel said, his voice echoing in the empty bathroom.
Opening the door, Gabriel was struck by the fear in Sylvia’s face. He struggled to meet her eyes. “I will take care of this,” he said stiffly, walking back the way he had fled.
A border of soccer, baseball and footballs encircled the small blue room. The matching comforter covered the twin size oak framed bed, a well loved teddy bear guarding the pillow. His eyes searched Jimmy’s room and landed on the child, curled up in a ball in the corner by the closet, his little arms over his head.
“Hey, little guy.” Gabriel sat down in front of Jimmy and crossed his legs. Jimmy’s body trembled. Gabriel’s gentle touch was met with a flinch. Gabriel continued to stroke Jimmy’s hand. Jimmy’s fear and dread drained into him, leaving Gabriel shaken. Jimmy’s body slowly relaxed and his breath eased into gentle hiccups.
Gabriel leaned forward and tenderly hugged the boy, running his hands over his back, over the proof of David’s brutality. “I am so sorry,” Gabriel murmured repeatedly, his voice choking.
“Jimmy,” Gabriel said quietly. The boy looked up, and scrubbed the tears from his ruddy cheeks. “I love you, Jimmy. What I did to you,” Gabriel rested his hands on Jimmy’s back, “was wrong. A father is supposed to love his children, not hurt them. I have not been a good father. I promise you, son, I will never hit you again.”
Jimmy hugged him, “I love you too Daddy.” Gabriel ran his hands over the boy’s shirt, his healing touches mending the welts and bruises that laced his skin.
Gabriel could hear Sylvia behind him fussing over the spilt milk. “Jimmy, come sit down and eat your snack, honey,” said Sylvia tightly. Jimmy obeyed.
Gabriel stood up from the plush navy blue carpet. He tousled Jimmy’s hair and followed Sylvia downstairs into the kitchen.
The tension emanating from Sylvia was palpable. “Talk to me Sylvia,” he beckoned gently.
“You can’t make promises you know you won’t keep. That’s not fair to him!” The words rushed from her.
“I will keep this promise. I will not allow you or Jimmy to be hit again.” He stepped toward her but she backed up until she reached the counter.
“You can’t know that. You said that last time. You say that every time,” tears streamed down her face and her voice trembled with rising anger.
Gabriel reached for her but she backed away. “Sylvia-“
“Don’t touch me!” she exclaimed as she stalked away. Gabriel stood helplessly, knowing full well that if David came back, he would just strike out again the next time he was angry. That is how these men worked, and try as they might, change was a slow difficult road. The sound of the washing machine starting reached him, indicators she was taking her frustrations out by cleaning.
Gabriel made his way into the office, looking for clues to the troubled family he found himself in. Where appearances were everything, the souls were buried deep and the sins even deeper. People who had appearances to keep were so much harder to read. The truth became buried so deep that it could not be accessed. Gabriel opened the briefcase he had brought home and began to rifle through it. The small laptop took up the majority of the space along with folders bulging with papers. Digging into a zippered inside pocket, found a small leather bound journal. He felt a jolt of raw emotion. This might help.
